Pamplemousse

The Student Literary Journal of Vermont State University

On Consumption

Poetry

Somebody told me recently that
I should write a poem for myself,

They do not know that I have left a piece of me
inside of you, and I have left you in every poem

previous to this——
but that is beside the point. For now

I imagine you are standing at a kitchen
counter chopping olives in half so you can

swallow them without chewing.
I am sitting in my living room considering

what it would be like to stick my face
into a blizzard, feel flakes of me parting

in the pursuit of snow.
I am considering fragility——

beauty in decomposition.
The way my limbs would fall off and roll

underneath the coffee table.
I am considering

the ways I have been reached
for. I am considering

the ways I have been swallowed
whole. Like the olives,

I imagine myself as dark and rounded,
filled with pimentos and a habitual feeling

of a cutting board below me and
a paring knife above. It is in this moment

of entirety before the wound that I
take a moment to consider this impracticality:

serene, my hands to my sides——this is the way I lie
before you. I’m rabid, walking calmly towards a gun.

I am eager, and I am adulterated in this.
When all is said and done,

when I sit in the pit of your stomach waiting
to dissolve, it is in you that I will leave this poem

for myself. It is through this dissolution
that I will become whole.

ELIZABETH CONARD is a 2015 BFA graduate from Johnson State College, where she studied creative writing and served as an intern for Green Mountains Review. She is currently pursuing teaching licensure and exploring the ever-exciting world of MFA programs, appropriately priced car insurance, and vegetarian cooking. Pamplemousse is her first publication.